thank You for letting me realise that i am not alone going thru stuff....
thank You for letting me lead a worship successfully today...
thank You Lord........
-BUT-
"Don't assume!
Because it'll make an ASS out of you and me."-taken from Jolene
coming back home, feeling tired and worn out, thinking that Care Circle leader's gathering went almost perfectly fine....
thinking that i'm gonna have the perfect bedroom-clean and proper to rest abit....
thinking that i'll have the best shower through out this whole week.....
thinking that mum will talk to me the nicest way ever.....
thinking that went i go online, i'll be greeted by you....
but why does bad things always happen when i see everything oh-so-perfect?
came back home, my room was totally upside-down caus eof my cousins [probably they played in my room]....
had the suckiest shower cause i had to rush through to make it on time to meet you on MSN....
had a small quarrel with mum over the slightest stupid reason which is my contacts.....
had a super big mis-communication with you and just got so hurt over assumptions....
i explained, i apologised, i gave in........
i don't what to do....
what's more.......never wanna talk to me anymore......
that was the biggest hit for this whole day, whole week, whole month, whole life.......
all the more coming from you
even though felt abit weird at first....
but everything and everyone went smoothly...
we all had fun....=D
no said it was gonna be easy.
but i'm glad HE brought me through.
thank You!
=D
just ended my project for ONOW!!
what a relief, baby!
feling so tired now....so brain dead...
and i'm suppose to sit down and study later on....
how la?? so tired yet so many things to do.....
but i guess somehow, i'll do pretty fine...
had a crazy, hair-pulling lesson with Mr Lim today....
turorial questions was CRAZY!! and plus his nonsense talks made me even more.......CRAZY!!!
but i MANAGED to finish most of it!!! YAY!!!! =]
should i study more later?? or shall i start on my new Nicolas Sparks book- At first sight?
hai...we'll see how.......
anw!! i did my QT for the past two days!!
i am so proud of myself!!
things i've been reading really spoke to me somehow....
like for the past week, i've been really having alot of un-answered questions in my brain....
but He answered all those for me...
making realise that He's joy is my strength! =]
"You give me confidence because You believe in me, even when I can’t.
You see in me what I cannot see due to years of broken filters and lies that I’ve believed.
You make me run a few extra minutes when I feel like I’m about to die or my legs are going to give out on me.
Your encouragement keeps me going.
You make me get up out of bed in the morning. Sometimes slowly, but always with a smile.
Thank You Lord!"
study. study. study.i know you can!
You make me a better person just because of who you are.
You make me want to give more, to do more, to be more than I currently am.
thank you & GO, GO, GO!!
had a long day in school today...
FINALLY MANGED TO UNDERSTAND MY F.M!!!!
all thanks to Ms Soh!! =D
and today is SUPER COLD!! freezing cold!hHAHa.....
and i've decided to get back on track with God...
no matter how hard or tired or whatever...
i've to get back..........
it's my responsibility as a children of God....
"here i am once again, Lord, earning for Your embrace."
sometimes, when it all gets comfortable, things may get wrong here and there...
i'd rather lessen the times then make mistakes...
but it was great today!
thank you very much!
=D
alright...in the middle oflesson now..
not really listening to the lecturer now cause i really can't understand....
the sky outsideis SOOOOO dark!!
and the clouds are moving SOOOO fast!!
one of my friend,Zhi Kai,said that it's end of the world!!!
SUPER FUNNY!!!!
but whatever!!.....
think i'm gonna go home and practice this topic.....
sorry lecturer......
yes Patrick!! exams are nearing!!
and i really dono if i can make it through...
my my my....so many things coming coming again...
i honestly, i really feel that i either here or there....
i don't know why am not as "on" as last time for everything now...
i really dono what's wrong....
there's this sudden mundane-ness or quiet-ness in life right now....
i can't feel the push.....
Lord, what's wring with my system now?
why am i feeling so...........physically, emotionally and spiritually restless??
tired? stress? bored?
i dono....i tried to figure out, but no answer....
i'm clueless, Lord.................
somebody, tell me why......
it's gonna be a new start of the week again....
i'm scared cos everything that's bad always happens during week-days!
and i dono why too!
i don wan week days!
but i have to go thru no matter what.....
hai......
what if one day everyone around you suddenly don't believe you? they start to blame you for everything you do or say....
even blame you for the things that you did right....
i know you never had trust in me....
fine then.....i've tried, you missed it....
so i'm not gonna say or make any noice anymore....
cos i know no matter how hard i try........
i'll face a cold house everytime.....
i'm just so tired, you know?
i wanna concentrate on my studies....
i don wanna get affected by you......
things thta you say that's sounds right to me....i i'll rmb and do it...
other then that....i'm sorry, it's going in and coming out...
i'm sorry....cos you've never understand my view....
but i still do cherish you....i hope you do....
today, thank you too for listening to all the stuff i said...
good or bad, let's start again and move on....
important thing is that, i've learnt to cherish one person even more....it's you
Lord, i'm sorry. i only can think of the word "sorry" to you...
YOu've called me, but i haven't been doing this job well....
i'm not fit, but You've choosed me....
what should i do now?
"when the sun rises, it rises for you.
Yes, for you. Just for you. Only for you.
You are it, everything, the whole universe with all the billion galaxies and stars.
The separateness you feel is only a mask you have put on to enjoy this human form.
Under the mask, your shape is All.
How far can you now feel your Self expand?
To your parent?... to your child?... to your friend?... to a stranger on a street?...
half way around the globe? "
thank You for Your faithfulness that i've taken it for granted...
OOOOO!!!!
i enjoyed myself totally so so much today!!
all thanks to: Matthew, Suzanne, Jolene & Ling Hui...
and of course, BOTANIC GARDEN!!!!hahaha
had a night pinic beside a lake with 2 pretty swans there!! cool stuff!!
think swans are really pretty!! love them!! =]
glad that you guys enjoyed today!!
will post some photos the in next post....
yea!!
[[I LOVE SPASTICS!! =D]]
i dono....i just have so so many questions marks....
i dono if i am doing the right things....
i dono if i'm saying the right things....
i'm just utterly sorry for things that i've done unknowingly that cause all these moody moodswings....
i guess i failed.......
but i'm willing to "study hard" to pass with flying colours!!
no matter how hard it is to prove to you....
i want to be your sunshine....
but first, you've got to let me in.....
but i guess, the time will come....
Lord, i know you know what we're all going thru....so, hold us thru!
thank You!
today's just a normal day today...
was suppose to watch potter today with enya...
but in the end did not...
so just stayed in school and slacked...
laughed super alot!! ahhaha....
why? why do people get so emo at times?
i can just sit in the bus and think bout alot alot of things!!
and i don like to think about alot of things!
makes me feel so, unsure, so unsecure....
oh wells....
am looking forward o the pinic tml @ BOTANIC GARDEN with the SPASTICS!!
hahahah!!! EXCITED!!!!
=D
for now, am gonna go and do more stuff....
"i'll be there at you lowest points and highest points!
so no worries...just continue to move forward."
why izzit everytime people around me lose their trust in me so easily?
everywhere, whoever.........my trust points would fail?
its really pain when you've got to be treated like a small girls who's being restricted to everything...
Lord, i don wan fights, i just want trust in me.......
confused. confused. confused.both seems right...
then Lord, how do i help in this kind of situation?
by not taking any sides and give the best advice...
You know i don wanna lose a friend and the trust between us just like that in a few months time...
freedom for us teenages are definitely something that everyone of us, teens, would want to fight for.....
care and concern are also definitely parents+siblings would give....
but how? how? how do i bring it out so as not to hurt anyone??
i really really don wanna hurt anyont but yet keep this friendship intact......
and plus, i'm not good when dealing with words and all......
may You help me, Lord.....
and!!!!! Lord! I THINK I'M SUPER STRESSED OUT!!!!
had my usual C.Prog lesson today... (anw friends, C.Prog is one module that i've been complaining bout since long long time ago!)today's tuitorial was like 2-3hrs.....
at first i wanted to skip it cause i go or not i'll still end up stone cause i simply don get anything!but in th eend decided to go for my attendance!!
but....in the end, i spent that whole tuitorial doing something effective!!
teacher gave us some questions to do and it was those really HIGH ones......
so i decided to give it a try.....
who knows, once i start the engine, even if i don know how, i have friends around me to help me out......
special thanks to : Wei Jie, Jun Yan, Zi Yun and Juli.....
(Ziyun and Juli helped me in my F.M....it's the same....)
THANKS-A-MILLION!!!
but i felt really terrible, as in body not feeling well....
like headache, cold sweat, giddyness, nausea........
are these all signs of stress??
whatever it is, Lord, help me here!!! =/
today was good!
you listened and i talked...
it'll definitely linger all the way to the next time....
don worry bour that!
=]
*e-l-d-d-u-c*
today is the day that i finally deicided to change my old ways to new...
after going through all the verse that i believe is what He wants to remind me...
which was to repent all sins that you've done and once you dine that, He'll defintiely accept you once again....
and putting that in the present contacts......
will you ever forgive and forget things other people did to you?
whatever bad and lousy qualities that they have....
are you willing to accept them and edifying them along the way?
"To love you when you're right
Love you when you're wrong
Love you when you're weak
Love you when you're strong"
new week, new challenges!
"Your beauty should not come from outward adornment,
such as braided hair and wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes.
Instead, it should be that of your inner self,
the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit."-1Peter3:3-4
that's what i've learned....
thank you Rachel!
thank you iceman!
thank you, Lord!
not a very good day today....
was waiting for something...
if i am waiting, then you're also waiting...
then who's gonna start the ball rolling?
you're not a loser.
i am the one....
if you want a rest...
you can tell me since i am the predator.
Listen to the words, and you can be fooled.
Look at the actions, and you can be fooled.
so many around me aren't doing the right things sometimes.
so many say things that seems wrong.
then who is true?
i know you are.
always and always.
so many things are coming your way,
and i know you've been feeling abit uptight these few days.
REALX! cause i know you can do all this!
ALL THE WAY!
"it's the little things that are good and bad which adds up to forever."
i have doubts.
lots of doubts to clear.
but i dono how.
"NUMBER OF THE DAY: 6!"
OH I LOVE HER MAN!!!! <3her=Enya!!
had a short day in school...
nothing much really happened today and had a sudden call from Enya asking me if i wanna hang out in town in the afternoon....
and i replied "YES!" immediately!!
was so glad to meet her after so so long!!
hey Nya!! thanks for the UPDATES!!!
hahhaa....in 3 months time, so so many things happened...
and lessons we've learned along the way...
and yea...i sure miss you!!!
may you work hard towards your goal that you've thought me just now!
and may we continue to work hard!!
I LOVE YOU!!!
i wasn't being sacastic...
i was true.......
=/
okay, its 1.22am and i'm in the middle of the research...
feeling sleepy caus eof my super CRAPPY day due to teacher and small stuff...
yea...decided to stop everything and continue tml since i'm ending school early tml...
yups....mean while, am gonna post some photos that i took ytd for my church's Youth Sunday and Suzie's Uni Graduation in NUS....
alright, this is the 17yr-old gang!!
Kendra, Jolene, Ming Hui, Ling Hui and Xin Pei (from left to right)...
okay this is taken by the roadside cause the three of us can't da han the pain due to high heels...
ku zhong zuo le!!
Me, Ling and Gina....
yep!!! that's Suzie!! look so smart!!!
CONGRATS SUZIE aka MOO MOO!!!=]
today was great!!
i'm really over the moon!
you know why??
cause today is the first time she praised me for my nice voice...
i've been earning for this assurance from her for so long...
and finally, she said it!
thank You Lord!
i also figured out that i should do my part----listening and do what i'm supposed to do...
be it in school, family etc....
for it's nt by chance that He put all this in my life....
i guess i should really humble myself down before anyone else and Him! 
yea....it's settled....i'll face my life just this way!
yups....
"i'm sorry for not focusing with my whole heart today, Lord.
I'm so sorry!
but i wanna thank You for showing me anwsers even though i din give You all."
i'm just so tired.
both physically and emotionally.
this roller coaster has too many ups and downs.
i'm tired.
but i've got to hang in there.
"Lord, weaklings like me need You."
okay...today was a great but long and tiring day...
school ended early so i went lunch with classmates...
but in the end, only me and feezah were left for lunch!
what the heck!!!hahaha...
nvm la....next time also can! =]
went all the way to MACS for lunch and just have a talk-nonsense-and-laughing session...
MAN!!! don't like to MACS cause it always gives me this very guilty and fattening feeling...
hahaha...but WHATEVER!!!
then ended lunch ayt around 1plus...
took bus back to TP and i met Darryl on bus 105!
he was going to church earlier to prepare stuff for later's worship prac...
we were just talking bout Poly and all,plus he was an SPean!hahaha....
yup, then i headed to the library to return my book, finish up and Nicolas Sparks book and to watse time before i meet up with SARAH and ANDREA!
yups...I CRIED IN THE LIBRARY!!!man!!!
Sparks's books never failed to make my tear!
this time round, the title of the book is "The choice"...
i guess its really very touchy and it sure makes you think alot bout life, family, friends, love etc...
can't wait to start this book that i borrowed today, 'The Guardian'...
and i was just thinking bout stuff that happened today...
talking to Darryl on the bus and he kept on repeating the phrase "You just have no choice but to live with it."....
and somehow, "The Choice" was also talking something bout living with it...
or maybe it wasn't, but it just got stuck on my head....
having no choice but to live with it....
i don't know man...
what's gonna happen after Poly?
fear creeps in whenever that small voice comes to me....
yea....i think whatever it is or get, i guess i've got to live with it....
it's there for me to learn something new from it....
yea....
is it always so boring with me?
"you lift my feet off the ground,
spin me around,
you make me crazier, crazier, craizer."
alright, today was just like any other
so far, my results are all good!!
got As, Bs and C....yea
and i think its good!
GOOD JOB MING!!!
teehee...seems like this "Good Job" sentence i sgood to hear
FEEZAH!!! read your blog le!!
welcome welcome!!
just wanna do my best as a classmate to include and encourage everyone in my own ways before more and more people feel......you know what i'm talking bout....
yeaps!!
i guess cause of our presentations and all,
people tend to get frustrated cause things done are not up to their expectations...
but bear in mind, like what Feezah said, everyone has their own weaknesses and we're alltrying our best for good grades...
we don't want good grades??
so no worries, just try to ACCOMODATE each other alright!!
=D
GOODNESS!!! today Angie, Feezah and me was like laughing at lecturer!!
i know its mean to laugh at your lecturer....
but it's SUPER FUNNY!!!
here it goes: this leacturer of our's has really little hair.
ans after our MST, we realized his hair grow more!!
and we also realized that his hair looks like BANGS!!!!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHH~
laugh like there was no tomorrow la!!!
YAY!!! i'm gonna meet up with my choir friends tml for lunch!!
AWWW!! miss SARAH and ANDREA!!!
all the laughters they brought during my choir days!!
it'll be great catching up with them tml!
anw here's my four little loves!!
well i've practically seen them since they were babies!!
hahahah!!!!
and i love them!!!
it's a joy and blessing to wait. so no worries.
=]
okay....FINALLY BLOGGER CAN UPLOAD PHOTOS!!
so i'm gonna give a pictures-update sort of thing....
played game of life in school that day.....
all were bored so yea......
GAME OF LIFE WAS SUPER GOOD!
yea....me, Angie, JunYan and Ziyun playing the GAME OF LIFE! (ZiYun was taking this photo) 
yea me.....which my job card....my salary was $100,000!!
and this pic was taken when we gave this big card to Xue! thrid girl from the left....
just thought this pic was nice!!! =D
oh!!! this is Xue!!
this is my super-funny IJ senior, Bonnie!
all the four girls in this pic was and are from IJ!!! ROCKS!
today was fine.....goods and bads........yups....
but one thing i'm really upset is about my face....
felt itchy and all so i just scratch it....
who knows, this morning i see so many stuff on my face!!!!
ARGH!!!!!!
=[
YESTERDAy----------FANTASTIC!!!!!!!!
Today-----------------normal.....=/
or rather, feeling abit stress now....
hahhaa....got back two of my results....
FM=75/100; TMF=60/100....
so far so good....3 more papers to go!!
learned alot of things that's new to me today....
need to look through again...
and have to rush project!!!!!
ARGH!!!!
but i know i'll be fine.
today was great!!
GREAT because i've got brothers and sisters around me to encourage me when i felt i can't play nocely for drums.....
GREAT because i know this talent of drumming is really not by chance, but by the grace of God!
PRAISE THE LORD!!
btw....oh man!!! why blogger cannot upload photos already??
i wanted to put a smiley face!!!
wanted to show that i'm fine now.......
i was being assured that my thoughts for the pass few days were not necessary...
i'm really glad i had the courage to tell you all the thoughts i was fighting against...
thank you for understanding.....
now i know everything WILL be fine.....
and i'm really glad...thank you!!!
=]
this really nice song that i found on Tangle...
it speak of my heart.
those who are feeling weak, its nice to hear.
Saviour, Please.
Savior, please, take my hand
I work so hard, I live so fast
This life begins, and then it ends
And I do the best that I can,
but I don't know how long I'll last.
I try to be so tough
But I'm just not strong enough
I can't do this alone, God I need You to hold on to me
I try to be good enough
But I'm nothing without Your love,
Savior, please keep saving me.
Savior, please
help me stand
I fall so hard, I fade so fast
Will You begin, right where I end
And be the God of all I am because You're all I have
I try to be so tough
but I'm just not strong enough
I can't do this alone, God i need you to hold on to me.
I try to be good enough,
But I'm nothing without your love,
Saviour, please keep saving me.
Hallelujah
Everything You are to me
Is everything I'll ever need
And I am learning to believe
That I don't have to prove a thing
'Cause You're the one who's saving me
Hallelujah
i fell hard,
but its was Him that pulled me up.
questions keep appearing,
but He answered all of it.
i was not fine,
but wa Him again, that made me strong.
THANK YOU, Lord!
MST IS OVER!!!!
HURRAY!
=D
Lord, i'm not as strong as i seem.
i can hide and run away....
but i know i can't do that forever.
Help me!
cracked my brains.
stayed in my room.
memerise my work.
took a break.
played woth my cousins.
had my dinner.
took my shower.
watch tv.
and here i am again.
other then all those things i've done today...
i had to fought against all the inner voices that keeps attacking me.
i know its not true......
but its hard to get out of it....
am still trying to save myself from all the voices....
stillness freaks me out the whole day today....
now i'm just too tired to say anything else....
going off to more revision...
bye....
i really hoped you know....
it's alright.
alright....paper today was not as good....
but thank God i can still do some...hahaha...
after the paper, went for lunch with friends at FC3...
and i was laughin at all the things Desmond was saying....
and suprisingly, alot of people was wearing red today...
and he managed to make all these so funny!! GOOD JOB!!! =D
then went back to TP.......
i guess the bus ride was rather boring...
and somehow, i just stonned and thought about alot of random things.....
so i stonned all the way to TP library to study for my LAST PAPER!!!!!
can't wait for my last paper to be over!
sometimes time isn't just on our side.
then how?
but honestly, there's this feeling deep down i'm fighting all by myself.
it's alright.
F.A.U.L.T.S
i guess i have alot of them.
sometimes i have them with a purpose.
sometimes i have them without knowing.
and why do i always have unknown faults with you?
and when i have, replies gets low and the mood gets bad.
makes me feel even worse.
why?
i blame myself.
man!!! i've got no idea why i am feeling so tired the whole day today!
ended my paper at like 1030am...
then went for a realy lunch with classmates and then went home....
was suppose to study but in the end i ended up on my bed for 4hours!
my paper today was also fine..
i'm really glad that all the papers i've dpne so far wasn't that bad...
THANK GOD!!
letf two more papers and i can let loose abit...=]
but sadly, staright away my last paper, i've got project meeting!
hai.........
who said Poly life was easy?
