all right!!!!
3 more papers to go for this week!!!
Math pp2
Biology
Accounts
yay!!!
its all good so far....
cant wait for this Friday to end....
and of cos.......
Os to end!!!!!
=).......
WEEEEEEEEEE........................................!
im actually in the midst of my crazy week!!!
haha....
can't believe it.......
so fast!!!
had History paper......
THANK GOD!!!!
i only studies 3 main chapetrs-Hitler,Stalin and Cold war........
thank God it came out on all these......
although i do not know if my anwsers are relevant.......
but i know i depended on Him.....
and im happy.....
and before i step into the exam hall........
the water in my tear gland were like rushing out!!!
MAN!!!
it was definitely not a very good feeling......
but glad that it is over le........
now i ahev to rush my art......
its going fine so far.......
and i have the rest of my crazy week ahead to ta han!!!
i read in my QT ytd........
the 3 factors to have in life if you want to lead a simple and happy life.....
is to have:
1) Laughters
2) the Lord
3) all the Small things
laughters to make you feel happy and good about yourself.....
the Lord is for you to depend on for strength,wisdom and to joy.
the small things in your live can great joy to you too!!
i have all these things written on my white board to remind me everyday.....
that no matter how hard things may seem.....
just laugh it out with the joy from Him and enjoy all the little things that's provided for me.....
and finally,quoted from Kenna......
"God will not put things into your live that you cannot manage."
do you think i've changed??
well....today as i was walking to church after tuition.....
i was actually contemplating whether to appear or not...
i feel that i've change.....
this change is not a very good change though......
maybe is due to the lesser amount of time spent in church and with all of your....
and due the Os..........
as i look back at the past few weeks......
i see myself gossiping like no one's business.....
being the Ming Hui that people find it hard to talk to....
i really din want it to be liddat....
i think its just me......
but today's sermon make me realize that actually all these bad changes can be changed back.....
He sent His only Son down to save me.......
and yet i did not obey Him....
to love my neighbor as how He has loved me.......
feel so bad.......haix
this week is gonna be such a terrible week for me......
6 papers in FOUR DAYS!!!!
can you believe it???
and 3/6 of the papers im not very confident.......
ARGH!!!!......
so scared.......
"Lord, Your strength and love is all i need now......."
am i really that irritating??
i just wanted to relax myself......
so i kind of scream and laugh and talk too much....
MAN!!
i really wanted to chill myself.....
but when i want to relax...which is talking,laughing loudly......
i get shooed........
but when i get too quiet....
people will think im down or whatsoever......
this sucks man!!!
as i walk home alone today......
these questions filled up my mind....
"MING!!!!
why are you laughing so happily???
aren't you suppose to prepare for your upcoming papers??"
crap!!
this is real bad...
im feeling bad for having fun and laugh......
i guess my laughters and screams are like nonsense to others.....
guess it kind of like irritated some people......
oh wells.......
i want to be mature............
but somehow when i face people......
my nonsense will just expose itself...
guess this is why my mum still treats me like a small kid.....
i don like it...........
im pissed off for even this kind of natter......
its bad....
and this coming week...
im gonna face 6 PAPERS!!!
ARGH!!!!
although everyone says its gonna be alright....
but at the back of my mind....
i know I'll get real stressed up....like i always do.....
and just get emo again!!!
ARGH!!!!!
I DON'T LIKE YOU!!!!
SHOO O LEVELS! SHOO!!
today is a Thursday.
i had my English paper on Tuesday.
i guess it was not so bad.
and i'm gonna have my math pp1 tml!!
i'm no good in my math.
but i guess i've prepared myself quite okay le...
thanks to all my teachers and friends who gave me help.
hehe....but of cos still feel scared.
hahaha......
oh man!!
i think next week I'll be studying like crazy!!
i'm gonna have 6 papers straight!!!
it's mad!!
it's unbreathable!!!!!
haiiiii..........
hopefully next week I'll pull myself through.....
oh God!!!
give me all the strength that i need for next week.....
cos i know I'll die with my own strength......
=)
today is the first day of my Olevls....
i thank God that the paper was not hard....
it was doable.....=)
great......
but i don't know why.....
i don't know why im still feeling moody......
ARGH!!!!...
there's something stuck up there......
the feeing sucks!!!
just cant wait for all my papers to be over....
but right now i know i have to know all my facts even before facing all the papers....
i know i can............
but...........
okay ming Hui!!!
okay!!
stop confusing yourselves!!!
hahaa.........
man i feel like im a crazy person talking to myself......
weird......
haha....that's it for now...
hahaha
its just in front of my eyes!!!
so so so fast!!
and soon it'll be over........
once its over....its really over.....
oh wells.......
i know i shouldn't even be using my com now.....
but i just felt like updating my blog......
man!!!
im scared,nervous and anxious for tml's English paper......
i really hope I'll do well!!
and today, i went to church to study the whole....
glad that i did 3/5 of my planned stuffs.....
ARGH!!!!!!!!
stress!!!
MATH!!!
BIOLOGY!!!
PHYSIC!!!
ART!!!
HISTORY!!!
Crap!!
Os......don think you can beat me with all the stress......
Victory is on my side because i've already put on the Amour of God!!
nothing can kill me.......
maybe it might hurt me......
but i definitely won't die....
HAHAHAHAH.....
okay!!!
serious man!!!
Os is just in 3 DAYS TIME!!!!!
OMG!!!!!
haha.....was counting down to the number of hours we left with ling and kendra while studying today......hahaha....
well....when it starts,it'll end very fast too!!
thank God my practical is over now.....YAY!!!
one paper down.....
and also also!!
thank God all those things did not really affect me so badly!!!
LING!!!! CONCENTRATE!!!! FOCUS!!!
your Os more impt!! =D
haha....so fast man!!!
time is really moving too fast!!
haha....but no choice la.....
for the whole of ytd and today you were PMSing.....
wanted to cheer you up....
but dono how to.........
if your stressed up by Os......
don't worry...its good for you.....
at least you feel it..........
just cheer up friend....
everything will be over soon!!
very soon!!
and remember!!!
you are not taking this Os alone.....God is always there to hold you through this whole thing!!
hope you'll feel encouraged after reading this.....(if you're even reading it!!)
haha....yea.....
i know......i know that i've done a bad job.well i guess its my fault.im sorry that i did not put all those words and teachings that you've passed on to me.as i stone for a moment just now...my mind was filled with this question....."why are you such a failure?"
man!!!this kind of affected me the whole day!!!!don't like this feeling!!it sucks!!why?why?why??i tried.....but seems like no one realize it.its always liddat....Lord......why??do you know that i've really tried??i really did!!!i really wanted to make things better..........but it seems that i've screwed up everything....=(i can never do things properly!!!what a loser!!!ARGH!!!Os is just in a few days time!!!...........i feel so so so so...........(can't describe with any words...)stress! stress! stress!!study study study!!!pia all the way!!!!against all difficulties!!!!!i don't care le!!!no matter how hard or how distracted i am.......or no matter if i have to bring that B***H in me.............I'll do it............for my future......I'll learn to stand up again.......on that rock that i stand.......... i had a ride on a emotional ride today.......
had a mixture of extreme feelings throughout the whole day.......
i was stressed.
i was scared.
i was worried.
i was happy.
i was angry.
i was lost.
i was sad.
i was disappointed.
[and the list goes on and on...]
GOSH!!!!
angry because i did not do a good job.
disappointed because i did not give clear instructions.
sad because i see your cried for nothing as its not your faults.
lost because i do not know whether i am in fault.
happy because i could make it for service.
worried because i was scared that i could not make it through this last round.
stressed because i have so many things on hand and i think i screwed up.
i was pissed.
not like as if i did not want to help right??
ARGH!!!
this is also my first time getting angry in church.
and its not your faults too!!
its just that time was not enough for your today.....
in my heart...your have done your best to make people feel good.
and that's all that's needed.
and for you.......i really don't know what to say....
im trying to cope with all the stress of Os.....
and i really don wanna because of these create another problem........
for now.....i shan't say anything...
i just wanna focus in my studies.....
if you're disappointed with me.....
i'm really sry for not meeting your expectation of me.......
hope you can really understand that i've tried and am still trying..............
as i stand in front of that mirror.....
i see her.....
i see that fear in her........
fear of exams........
fear of everything.......
through her eyes.......
i can tell that she lack that confidence to even believe in herself......
she knows that she should not pressure herself so much.......
but that fear just made her do that unintentionally......
why??
why must she make it so hard for herself??
and she stressed of slacking.......
she did not really study for the pass 2 days.....
well...guess temptations just come in her way!!
she cried.
she prayed.
she tried.
but nothing seems to work........
she tried to use laughters to cover up all those black holes.....
she feel intimated by every 'warrior' around.......
and on Friday....she was released out of her comfort school!!
she was sad.
she'll miss all the fun times she spent there.
teachers who encouraged her.
she'll never forget all the words that they said on that day.....
its engraved in her heart forever.
its a scary truth....
but what can she do??
just have to learn how to accept it and do give her best shot.......
God, may You protect her.
Yea man!!
after quite long then im able to post.....haha
nothing much happen but stress has been piling up everyday....
i've only got 12more days to actual Olevel English paper!!haha
but seriously!!!
its only through this kind of period....
then i am able to really humble myself before God and seek for His strength....
i read a sentence just now for QT.....
"God will take care of you still to the end;
O what a Father,Redeemer and Friend!
Jesus will answer whenever you call;
He will take care of you;
trust Him for all."
yea...was once again assured by Him that He will be there to hold me through this period...
if i cast down all my worries and fears to Him....
He'll definitely do the caring part....
THANK YOU FATHER!!!
what an amazing grace!! =)
yea...another thing is that i've been skipping my meals for like almost everyday!!!
this is quite bad la.....
but really no time la...
probably that's just an excuse i give to lose weight...
but im sure there's a better way out...hahaha
oh wells.......=/
OH MAN!!!
I'M LEAVING CHIJ IN LIKE 1 DAY TIME!!!!
SO SAD!!!!!
I'LL MISS EVERY MOMENT I'VE SPENT HERE!!
gosh!! i hate farewells!!! =(
I'll be coming back to visit you very soon!!!
haha...and i promise I'll send my daughter into you....(if i have one!!)
hahahaa
tt's all for now!!
<<<<>>>>>
today is a Sunday.....
but it did not feel it was a Sunday for me....
had my accounts tuition in the morning....
and then went to church...
i totally forgot that today is 2nd service....
i went to fellowship room some more!!
hahahaha....what a JOKE!!
then i realize that today is the 1st Sunday of Oct,,,,
then i rush my way up to sanctuary.....
lucky i made it just in time for communion......
one thing that i've been waiting for a long time!!
haha......i feel really good to be filled with His body and blood in me!!
it's an assurance for me!!
haha...then after service went for the usual EOY camp prayer....=)
then after the prayer.........
decided to study with my friend at macs....
and guess what???
the same guy that chase us out chase us put again today!!!!
then we all had to be like nomads...
to go from one place to another to find a place to study!!..........
haha...then we ended up in the KFC in......(dono how to say).......haha....yea
lucky the pple there nv chase us out......haha
anw....Os is in 10plus days away!!
CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?????
time passes so FAST!!!!
when i was in sec1....i use to think that Os will be coming slowly......
and took my time to play..........
now its just in front of me...........
the fog is clearing and Mr O will be right in front of me....
waiting to take my hand on the STRESS ROLLER COASTER RIDE!!
haha........but yeah.....its true!!
"Even if you stress yourselves so much, you would not benefit anything at the end. Because the end result of over-stressing will cause you to have a higher chance of going blank in the real O papers.", quoted from Suzanne(moo!!!!!!!!!!)....
so yea...thanks for telling me that!!!
will rmb that always when i study!!!
LOVE YA!!!
yea.....i did not go to school today......
talk to my friend till quite late...
so i guess was feeling rather lazy in the morning...
but even if i go to school....there's not much lessons today...yea...
so i guess its fine for me...haha
yea...then in the afternoon...I'll be having accounts tuition...
feeling lazy to go for it...
studied the whole morning...
which is good...
yea...glad that i was able to study at home...yea...
haha....man!!!
i really hope that later accounts tuition won't be so stressful...
but i have a feeling that somehow Mrs Lee will add more stress to us......
MAN!!!!
UPDATE!!!...
16 MORE DAYS TO THE FIRST O LEVEL WRITTEN PAPER!!!!
so i guess i will be my last post for now until Os ends....
guess i've sacrifice my computer time for my future...haha
hope i don get tempted easily...haha...
yea....
well nowadays i feel that i've somehow drifted away form you guys...
dono why...but i feel that its me who wants to drift away...
weird me......
but please forgive me....
i still love you ppl...
thanks for being there even when i isolate myself sometimes...hahahaha
POLICY OF ISOLATION!!!!>>>>>>HISTORY!!
TEEHEE...=D
today was a STUDY DAY for me!! had my day started with math tuition......
haha.....somehow, tuition was quite demoralizing for me....
all my friends was like talking bout the L1R5/L1R4......
like duh...mine is like the highest among all of them.....
and my mum is like pressurizing me to the max!!!
i don't like it man!!....
here i am trying my very very best to do to fit her expectations on me....
and there she is demoralizing me without knowing it.....
why? why? why???
sian...then after tuition went to study with my friend...
we're like nomads..... finding for a place to study....
the first place we went is the Macs at entertainment center......
yup then the waiter came to tell us that we can't study there.... irritating guy....
completely turn me OFF!!haha...
then we want to KFC....MAN!!!
the place was full man....no place.. then we walk to the Macs at interchange.......
and you're right....it's FULL HOUSE.....=)
haha..the we decided to go to KOFU and study..
weird place to study though....but we still managed to study......
haha yea....enjoyed studying today....quite effective...=)
was very happy that i finally did a proper QT today...
couldn't take the stress and finally manage to tell Him all about it...
the feeling was SHIOK!!!
even though things might just look difficult for me right now......
He is trying to shape me into some1 that i never thought i will be.....
things will be fine under His loving hands.....
MING HUI, IT'LL BE FINE.
ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS TO PUT IN YOUR BEST!!!
haha especially now very hard to find people to talk to.......
cause everyone seems to be involved in their own life...
so yea...He's the best person i can think of to talk to.......=)
yea....well....gtg back to my NERDY TIME....=D
