just breathe;

yea another day is just gonna pass me by like that.......
had school today and more papers are coming in my way!!
lucky i have tml to take a small break from school.....
but of cause no break for revision......
haha......yea......stayed in school till 9.30pm for my night study.......
decided to study my humans...haha
was rather effective cause my friend told me roughly how she studied...YAY!!
then after night study.....it rained cats and dogs man!!!!
so heavy that that i got my whole back wet even when i still shared umbrella with my friend.....
was having quite abit of fun shouting and screaming and getting ourselves wet...haha
the "small and simple" happiness.......
yea......OMG!!!!!
my hair is like taking centuries to grow!!!!!
was thinking of letting down my hair on grad night....
now its seems that i won't really have those long nice hair thing....sian!!!
haha...random...but true!!haha
with so many things lined up for me to do.....
i really have no time for some personal time.....
had no time to even think about anything that is out of the "STUDIES" circle....

well...i guess sometime things/people get lost in this busy life......
and when it's gone...
it's really gone.......
so try your beat to stick with the world!!
MINGHUI!!!

yea........Anw....
wha!!!...my whole family pan sei me today sia!!
they went to sit the Flyer today...hahahaha.....
but at this point of time...I'd rather study then sit that....
I'm sure I'll have the ample time to do that....=)

OMG!!!found this funny video!!!
MUST MUST MUST WATCH GUYS!!!!
FUNNY UNTILL YOU CAN CRY!!

when you're striving for the up slope,
remember to take time to breathe at the down slope.

Its gonna be another new day!!
in 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 0!........
ITS A BRAND NEW DAY AGAIN!!!

its also another new beinging for me to prove myself wrong.....
yea...had quite a bad day today though....
had accounts tuition early in the morning!!!
my tutor was rather turn off today...
some more all the questions she gave us to do was super high level....
and throughout the whole tuition......
almost 7/10 of the time was silence....
and you know...SILENCE KILLS!!!
yea....and those difficult questions kind of killed my mood the whole day today!!
i guess many people could tell that something was not right with me today.....
yea....then my friend came and talk to me....
glad she was there when i felt like everyone was too busy until they forgot bout me...yea...
THANK YOU FRIEND!!

when you're striving for the up slope,
remember to take time to breathe at the down slope.

Devastated!

Disappointments!

Discouragements!

It seems so far, so difficult, so hard to achieve this goal.
A goal for my entire life!!
If I screw this goal....
My whole life is screwed up!!!!
Oh man!!
Its really impossible in my sight!!!
ARGH!!!!!!!!!
Everyone's seems to be overtaking me......
I'm so tired of running this narrow running track......
Everyone seems to be pushing their way through me........
So hard that i almost fell....
But I know my Father will be my supporter......
He will be pushing me, holding me, carrying me, picking me up when i fall....
Though it will be hard, I know it will........
Please push me on Lord.......
I think I've only got 20% of energy in me now.........
But i know you'll be filling it up with your strength, guidance and love....
This is my sincere prayer.....
THANK YOU....

when you're striving for the up slope,
remember to take time to breathe at the down slope.

I AM OVER MY HEAD TODAY!!!!
YAY!!!HA HA.......
FEELING SO SO SO SO SO SO HAPPY!!!
THANK YOU MY FRIEND!!!
THANK YOU!!!=D.....
You really made me day!!!Haha.....
Haha......Had tuition this Sunday morning....
Was rather reluctant to go...But still i went...Hehe
After tuition went for service.......
I'm really glad for you Eileen!!!
Bet you must be over the moon too when she started talking to you again.....
I was very happy to see her doing the birthday celebrations today!!!Haha....
Yea man!!!...It's true!!!...She's happy and back!!!!
THANK GOD!!!
Then after service was feeling very very hungry.....And was having headache......
Yea...Then was waiting for the lunching pple for quite long....
That's why i was abit turn off.....Teehee...
Then after lunch went back to church to study......
OMGosh!!!!....That weird person came!!!
*^%%&#$ came!!! OMGosh!!
Oh wells....God teach me to learn how to love those who are unloved.......
Was also feeling rather stressed up today......
Didn't really tell pple because i know all the reply will be the same....Hahaha...
But its fine with me......I'm sure they still care for me.....
OH MAN!!!...Have a bad bad news!!!!
Gonna miss prayer meeting,Sunday school and half of service for like the next 4 weeks...
Having Accounts tuition at the time...Sian.....
But....GOOD NEWS!!!!
It's only 4 weeks and after that period.....It'll be over!!!
And fun will come into my life again!!!
Go Ming Hui!!.....Just for these few weeks.......

when you're striving for the up slope,
remember to take time to breathe at the down slope.

YAY!!!!! MY ART IS OVER!!!!
yea....omg...its definitely crazy when it was nearing 5pm...
but im really glad its over....
just hope everything will be fine.....
anyway...after art....my nightmare is not gonna end...
instead, it'll be even scarier....
haven't got back any of my prelim results......
but im really scared....but i guess I'll still be fine....
man!!!
my eye bags are worsening...its disgusting man!!!
but who cares now la...haha
GOOD LUCK MING HUI!!!

when you're striving for the up slope,
remember to take time to breathe at the down slope.

ART IS KILLING ME!!!!!!!
I really did try my very best!!!
I did put my heart ans soul in..........
why are you so demoralizing????
izzit because your expectations for me is high...or izzit because i just suck??
ARGH!!!!.....
the words you said really make me fall deep down into the dark pit hole.....
i really felt that i couldn't do it...
really felt like a failure.....
i didn't want to cry in front of you because i wanted to show you that even with all your criticism i am able to with stand it and do better....
but i was utterly wrong of myself......
i guess i don even know myself well...
i tried my very best to put up a strong front........
and went home be a loser......
i cried....cried my whole heart out.....
maybe this world is even worst then what im facing now.....
maybe my future boss can be even more evil then her.....
why must you be looking at the dark side now, Ming Hui??
.....wel....i know i must have faith....i know He'll definitely bring me through......
its just those words that hurt me.....
however, thank God I've you, my friend, to be there for me when i feel like a total loser....
Thank God i've you to encourage me.....to push me on...
to tell me that only by accepting hard criticizes is the way to improvement.....
and also to tell me that we won't know how bad we are until some1 voice it out.....
yea...its quite true...in fact its true..
thanks for being there for me....=)
lucky i did not give in to all those criticizes.....
after all your words of encouragements...i decided to be strong and prayed to to God before starting everything.....
today was abit better...at leat i could see abit of light for my art....
whatever people say.....i've to stay strong and stick to my values....=D

when you're striving for the up slope,
remember to take time to breathe at the down slope.

OMGosh!! My prelims finally ended!!! After so long. Haha.....

My art was kind of fun today. Just realize that i could draw flowers quite nicely. Hehe....
However, i stayed up super late yesterday night just to finish the d&p pp today.
Did my Chinese prelim pp today. Did not really touch my Chinese yesterday. Ops!!
Teehee.....but the comprehension passage was good.
Quite inspirational....haha.....it talked about true happiness.
As I read the passage, i was thinking of myself.
Was asking myself if I am really happy or just acting.
Thank God my answer is really happy. haha.......
As days pass me day by day, i realized I've fell in love with Paris and not Venice anymore.
Although so many events pass me, I am a human, I do change. But i do not know if this change is good or bad.
Did i change? Or izzit me just thinking too much??
Oh wells.....i know I'll still have friends by my side.(i guess =D)
haha...my Olevels art submission is due this Friday,5pm.
Scared that i won't be able to finish everything on time.
However, every time when i start worrying whether i am able, I'm reminded by JC's lesson.
"When you put things into God's hands, you must never doubt in Him."
Lucky i went for that lesson because i think that lesson is one that is rare.=)
Thank God that she's back!!! Not sure if she's close to You still.
But still happy to see her smiling and serving You.
Please continue to hold her and use her as Your tool.
Forgive me for not being a very good leader.
During that time when she left us, i really had no courage to face You. Because i felt that i You place this responsible in my hands.
Yet i did not do to my very best. Felt guilty then.
But now, seeing her coming back and this ministry growing, I know that You've been answering my prayers. It worked!!!
"The harvest is full, but the workers are few."-----it just suddenly came into my mind.
YAY!!! haha........
Thank God I'm still happy so far.
Glad things did not affect me until now.

when you're striving for the up slope,
remember to take time to breathe at the down slope.

Ytd night i dreamed of escaping to Paris. Just to stay there and enjoy the beautiful scenes and the lovely feel the people there give. Really a very nice place to relax my mind!! wWy am i not born there?? haha....Kidding...=D

Today, i felt really dumb!! this is because i woke up early in the morning at 6.20am and realize that my physic pp only starts at 11.30am!!! oh my gosh!!! So dumb....Oh wells...So i just spent a bit of my time on blogging...=D
As i sit in front of my computer...I'm thinking of what i should post today. should i post happy things? Or should i post sad things?? Hahaha...Well i guess i should just post how i feel right now...Teehee....Just had a conversation with Him...Telling Him how i feel bout everything tt's happened these few days and all the the major things tt's gonna happen in a few weeks time. Soon Os is gonna start and I'll be skipping my meals again(as usual).
Was listening to a song just how. It's 'How can I keep from singing?'. Its a Christian song. The lyrics really reminded me how i should continue to sing praises to Him even in this time of difficult time. When everything around me seems impossible. I'm reminded also by one of this sermon by this uncle who came to YM to preach months ago(i think). He said that we should continue to serve Him in the midst of difficulty. This is because we can be reminded of His love,His provenance,His guidance.....etc. Really was touch by what he said and i guess it really made me stand up strong till now so far. =)
And also I'm really very grateful to JC, who is teaching our Sunday school class currently. I really took back alot of things from her!! We're learning James now. This book talks bout trials and temptations, just like what i am going through now. TRIALS! must give thanks,give praises.
Had a bit of fun ytd just slacking with the people, talking bout stuff,laugh about stupid things and making fun of each other...haha...
Guess without them, i would just head straight home because was rather down due to the 'loss of engine' for my studies..haha.. Weird but true.
Well i guess He put all these people in my life to push me on. To tell me that even if my 'engine' slows down, they are the people who will be there to support me through. YAY!!

when you're striving for the up slope,
remember to take time to breathe at the down slope.

why?
why must things turn out to be liddat??
so complicated??
you use to help me and groom me.....
i really respected you........cross my heart......
not say tt i do not now.....i still give you alot of respect....
but after all these.....im feeling rather confuse......
set my heart on going for the mission trip.....
was having difficulty on making up my mind to go at first.....
scared I'll be affected again by what's happening rite now.....
well....im tt kind of person who gets affected very easily.........sorry, but i've to admit....
why???
i really dono why is this happening??
when we're tired or whatever.....shouldn't we take breaks and rest and not vent it on others??
well....maybe i just don't understand it....maybe its just too chim for me....
but i still respect in you cos its God's plan for you to be a part in this ministry...in my life...
this whole week was rather mono.....
my engine is almost dead to study for prelims...
i know i shouldn't be feeling this rite now at this stage.....
but really man!!! they really drag this prelims too long!!!!
it seems never ending.....
oh man!!! oh my!!! oh my gosh!!!
Os is in a few weeks time!!!!
ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =o
I'm scared........really!!!!!
hai..........
so right now.....i really just want to focus all my energy on my studies.....
I'll leave everything aside now......
don't want it to affect me......
I'll KIV until my Os end........
yup.........

when you're striving for the up slope,
remember to take time to breathe at the down slope.

is my birthday........................................
not really a birthday i look forward to......
cross my heart....
so many problems....
feeling so vexed!!!!
whatever........
ming...why are you feeling so down??
come on!!! it's your BIRTHDAY!!!
haha......so what if it's my birthday???
i've created problems for myself and have tuition to start my day off.........
what a SWEET 16th birthday...ha ha ha........
but still, i am still happy for the people who wish me birthday wishes.....
thank you!!!!!!

anyway...this picture is random.......
just a funny one!!.haha

when you're striving for the up slope,
remember to take time to breathe at the down slope.

[This is a conversation of a girl with her Father.]

girl: Father, i feel very tired from everything i face right now.
father: My child, i know. i know you're tired just come and seek me, I'll always be there for you to hold.

girl: father, i am very confuse with the situation i being place in now.
father: Ask me for strength. I will give to you without finding faults from you.

girl: Father, i am feeling rather lonely deep down in me.
father: You know what? I am always in front, beside and behind you to be with you always.

girl: Father, I'm really scared to face my future.
father: I've plan everything for you, my child. Just place your TRUST in Me and everything will go as planned.

girl: Father, I feel that I'm not doing a good job as a human.
father: everything you do is enough in My eyes. This because I know this is the best from you.

girl: Father! i do not know if I'll make it.........
father: didn't I tell you before? place your trust in Me and everything will be fine. but your hard work must also come into the picture.

girl: i am tearing...................
father: it'd not a wrong thing to cry. I'll be beside you to wipe away those tears.

girl: my heart is aching............
father: I'll always be there to mend that broken heart of your's, my child.

girl: my mind is messed up!!!
father: I'll send the Holy Spirit to always guide you in every situation.

girl: I'm down-casted!!!
father: remember the verse you read in the bible? Come to Me all you who are weary. Because My yoke is light. Take that, and that joy will slowly flow into you.

girl: I'm really sorry for the times that i've neglected you. Not spending that time to pull that relationship closer with you.
father: Don't worry. I'll never leave you. Therefore, you've slowly learn from all the trials that I've set for you.

Father: Last words from me. Always, always remember that I'll never leave you or abandon you. Never will i do that! The challenges I've place in your life is things that you're able to cope with. I'll never put things that you cannot handle. So, don't be afraid to take that step of faith. And always put your trust in Me. AND EVERYTHING WILL BE ALRIGHT!!

when you're striving for the up slope,
remember to take time to breathe at the down slope.

i had a good dream!! will never forget this dream!!
its a secret!! not telling you...=)
[ahcutluiaqlflpy ifts's ahbjodukt yioeu zjhgi koapi]
hahahaha.......
anw...i stayed home the whole day today......
my family celebrated birthday today!!!
well...my mum cooked CRAB for me!! tt's my favourite dish!! teehee....
was slacking the whole day today.......
seriously man!!!
wanted to study...but all the food distracted me!! =(
was staring out of the window almost the whole...
maybe i just expected too much from them.....
so i din receive anything from them....
whatever....just stay by myself all the way!!!
lonely...teehee.....
1 more day.....

when you're striving for the up slope,
remember to take time to breathe at the down slope.

i had leaders retreat!! it's one retreat that brought me back back to what i was suppose to fulfill in the ministry. there's a period of time where i was too busy due to studies and neglected my role. You send people to guide me, to help me, yet i took granted of that and did not use the things that they've given to me to my fullest potential. now, i realize my mistake, that because i went into the sleeping mode, the people under me also went into sleeping mode and some even lost the passion do this for You.
I'm really sorry. now that it's left with 4 more months till i step down, i know i've to do something. because i remember that someone once told me that it is us to build this ministry up. or else no one will. its a great responsibility to hold as a ministry leader and a Olevel student at the same time. at first when i was told to hold this responsibility, i really questioned myself whether I'm actually up to this task. but after walking through almost 3/4 of this year, i really wanna say a big THANK YOU to my God.
this is because its is He who bought me through all my tests, exams, school activities,church activities etc. really amazing how fast time flies. ya man.....it's now or never!! the vision, the humble heart, the discipline, the encouragements.........
GO MING!!!

yup! and today during the retreat, i saw all the happy faces and i was happy because everyone was happy!!! OMG!! all credits to KENDRA!! your game rocks man!!! we should play that sometime again with the rest of the people!!! man!! I'm excited!! =D

when i reach, she gave me black face again. because i went out the whole and not studying....blah blah blah. i tired to explain to her the reason why I'm back home so late. she couldn't be bothered to listen. i got quite pissed off but i did not say anything. just went to have a nice cooling shower. guess it helped me to cool down. its 4 more days to my day, why can't she just step back abit to let me be happy?? oh bother! then what's the use of planning how/when/where to celebrate my day when we are having difficulty in just listening to each other?? it's totally no use. oh! what a birthday that I'm looking forward man!

yea. I'm suppose to be back to my school mode. however, I'm feeling VERY lazy to change to that mood right now. honestly, i really don't feel like going to school tomorrow. but i already told my mum that there'll be lesson tml, for her character, she won't allow me to skip it. oh wells.

Olevels it's just in month time i guess. seriously, when i just say this word 'Olevel', it really gives me freaks!! it'll cause me to feel giddy, makes me feel like that my hair will drop out anytime. MAN!! this is not a good feeling!! i don't like to be freaked out!! its Os man!! at this point of time, i really envy those smart people. although they also get the same feeling as me, but at least they have this assurance that they're smart enough to at least get A2 for each subj. well for me, I'm not talented in my studies. so i've to face my mum,teachers and even friends everywhere!! this is considered stress to me man!! BOO!!! stress!! i dislike you!!!

but there's one assurance that i know i always have in me. i have my Father guiding me in whatever i do. i know through Him, all things that seems impossible to me IS possible!! He can part the Red sea!! what else can He not do??

alright man!!
I'm burning for Him!!

3 more days!!

[sfthidlbl wganitkivnsg floer tjhde ciogrmrtescqth tfijmoirnag tdo arsyk ydorue fpoer aendoqtjhkeur cuhiajnecle fpoir ufs]

when you're striving for the up slope,
remember to take time to breathe at the down slope.

today had school early in morning again......
oh well.....
its just like any other day....
just feel bored.....
then had tuition........
feel that i should have stay at home..........
wells............
whatever.............
feel rather retarded now.........
also dono why........
today...i also went around reading my friends blogs......
i realize through all these years.....
i did not do a part as a friend to care for the people around me......
although every time i say tt i wanna show care to the people ard me.....
but i did not put it to actions.......
i really did not......
how disappointing........
things that were put under me......
when did i become so self-centered??
i did not do my part.........
i thought my laughters and my smiles are enough for you to be happy......
but i realize it does not work for you.........
i guess i was too ignorant towards the people around me...
but i care....i really do care......
when i think about all the pains all of you have been through.....
my eyes turned watery...........
feel rather bad as i did not do my part as a good sister for you all.....
now that i know so much things and not kept in the dark......
I'll really really try my very best to love all you guys and girls just like how God loved me..............
I'll try to be more sensitive to all your feelings.......

"Father,please forgive me for being so ignorant to all my friends that you've provided for me. For people who are feeling alone right now, please Lord, may You just stay by side. For those whom i seldom see nowadays and do not know how well have they live their lives, but God i know You're always their guide. Father, teach me to not be so self-fish, to keep this joy to myself only. teach me to share it with everyone around me, my friends, family member, etc. by doing so, i know that they'll never feel alone anymore. guide me Father, Amen."

4 more days to the day when God put me in this world.....+D

when you're striving for the up slope,
remember to take time to breathe at the down slope.

i have things hidden inside.......
but i know that i can make it through the rain.....
i can stand up once again......
on my own.........
things will get to you soon.......
I'm sure 1 fine day I'll reach there....

when you're striving for the up slope,
remember to take time to breathe at the down slope.

was okay..............
went swimming with Ling.......
yup...again!!!haha
its good cos we kind of talk about alot of things......
i knew something super super shocking!!
couldn't believe it at first......
but still accepted it...hehe
oh well....
today during tuition i was super stressed up!!
i din know how to do like alot of stuff....
den ask both my friends they also ignored me!!
what the heck!!!
den my teacher i think she also got irritated with me.....
so i had no choice but to make quite alot of mistakes....
then i just realize that i only got 48 more days to O levels!!!
freaking 48days!!!
and some more time pass super fast!!
i really don like this year!!!
so many bad,sad,stressful things happen!!
and some more......i don't think I'll have a very peaceful birthday this year too!!
what a sweet 16th birthday!!!!!!
oh well.......................
today was abit cranky!!!
ARGH!!!!!!!!

anw....hey girl!!!
im still praying hard for you!!!
hoping to see u back in church again!!!
really hope all those fame and materials did not blind you from this little bit of love in this world............
God's doors are always open for you......
of cause, YM's doors will surely be open for you to put that heavy bag that you're carrying down...

when you're striving for the up slope,
remember to take time to breathe at the down slope.

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